


Love Me If You Dare

by Everyone-is-gay-and-broken (SherlockIsaGirlsName2898)



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Angst, Dare, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-11
Updated: 2015-10-11
Packaged: 2018-04-20 07:11:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 18,138
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4778225
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SherlockIsaGirlsName2898/pseuds/Everyone-is-gay-and-broken
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There is a game that you should never ever play.</p><p>Even if it's your prettiest of friends that ask you to.</p><p>But that doesn't stop Phil, Dan is a way too pretty friend anyway.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A Box And A Friend

**Author's Note:**

> This is just a small chapter to kinda introduce the caracters and situation, the next will be longer!

Phil Lester had never been a person to like games. No really, he loathed them.  
He liked monopoly all right, only when he had the bank though. Oh he loved playing with his marbles in the playground of his primary school. Usually he didn't have a lot of people to play with, but the spherical perfectness made him feel quite happy. Board games? Meh, Phil was a person who liked to win, but not by cheating. He tried his best to be as honest as possible. 

But there is a game that you should never play. I mean it, NEVER. Even if your bestest, best of friends asks you to.  
And that game is I Dare You. 

This game, well it started with a pretty house, a pretty bus with no driver, a pretty box, and a very, very pretty friend.  
No actually, maybe that's not how the whole thing started, it began a bit earlier.

With a disgusting word, a word that made Phil's mum cry, the word "ill". What even does that mean? Everyone gets ill. Oh but it was so much more than that, it made his mum cry, yes, but she hid it when he was there. Maybe her illness was to hide the truth? In all honesty it didn't change that Phil's mother was very, very ill indeed. Oh he never quite caught the exact term of the doctors, it was a complicated word. A stupid word. And he didn't believe it. On that day, Phil's mother gave him a round tin box with a painting of a carousel on it. Such a pretty thing.  
And that's how it all started.

 

Dan Howell was crying, Dan was sad. Is it normal to be sad when you're only 9 years old? He'd always thought he would get sadder as he grew up. But standing in the middle of a circle of laughing and pointing children, Dan knew that right now, and no matter how stupid it sounded, he was sad. The giggling didn't stop, he didn't understand why everyone thought it was so so funny to throw his schoolbag on the ground. He wasn't a strong kid, he knew he couldn't defend himself, but a part of him just wished he could punch every kid there square in the face.  
Dan was hurting, and the tears streaming down his face didn't help, for some reason it only made them laugh louder, as if they'd won some sort of prize.  
Dan fell to the ground in defeat, trying not to sob as he picked up his things that had unfortunately landed in a puddle of mud.  
This day was just as any other, except maybe for one thing. Except for the small boy walking towards him, a sad look in his eyes and a tin box hugged close to his heart.  
The stupid teasing kids soon left him alone, deciding they'd had enough and got on the bus that was just waiting, the driver not even moving a finger to help a poor, bullyied kid.  
As the kids got on, the small boy with the round box walked slowly towards him. He sighed, preparing to hear another of those stupid, and vey unoriginal insults. But to his surprise the blue-eyed boy knelt in front of him and helped him pick up his books.  
Phil knew this boy, he'd seen him before, but today for some reason he saw him, he didn't just look at him. 

"Dan?" murmured the boy.

"You must be confused, my name is 'Stinky Loser' apparently" He retorted sarcastically with a small sigh

Phil thought for a second, as Dan got up and tried his best to shake of as much as water as possible off of his jeans. Dan didn't have anything precious that day either. So, Phil knew he had to share.  
Dan looked up just as Phil handed him the pretty tin box and said : 

"Lend it to me from time to time." 

Dan smiled a warm grin and took the box, happy that today he'd made a friend, even more happy that his friend was this pretty. But Dan's gaze grew dark and he retorted harshly : 

"If you give something, you give it for good. If you want it back prove it. I dare you" And in that very instant, Dan's smile grew wider. He knew Phil wanted the box. he knew he'd given him the dilemna of a life time. It would be quite later on that he'd find out just how true that statement was.

And that was the begining of it, the real start of it.

As the driver got out to shout at Dan to get a move on, Phil quickly sneaked in, and lifted the hand-break, getting out just in time as the bus started slowly down the hill.  
And all Dan and Phil did was watch, delighted and laughing as the driver ran after his bus, a cigar in his mouth, and slightly overweight.  
Dan had never felt so alive, little did he know that soon, that game and that boy would suck every living breath out of him.

The game started on it's own. If Dan had the box, he could give Phil any dare. Phil did it and he got the box back, and so on and so on. It was the Best. Game. Ever.  
Silly game? Maybe, but it was their game.  
And it had only just begun.


	2. The Dares

Dan was in Engish class, one that he deemed as stupid and annoying as any other class, but this time with a very, very obnoxious teacher. Even for a nine year old, he knew how boring this was, to absolutely everyone. Today the teacher was asking what words started with the letter 'D' and he had no intention to participate in this as he sat at his desk. He still felt the presence of Phil sitting behind him though, maybe planning his next dare, or just sleeping as he did often in some classes. Dan was really hoping for the second option, he didn't want to get in trouble in English class.  
Suddenly he felt a cold metal against his arm as he sighed, frustrated. Phil whispered the dare in his ear and kept the box. That's how it worked, you don't get the box until you accomplish the dare. Dan giggled at what his friend was suggesting but then sighed and just how mad the teacher would be.  
Nevertheless he raised his hand as the teacher asked for letters beggining with the letter 'D' 

She smiled at him and gestured for him to talk.

'Um...' He started, feigning reflexion. 'Dick!' He said, loud enough for everybody to hear, starting a major shitloss in the class. The teacher though, wasn't laughing and looked completely horrified, trying to stop him, but he kept going. 'Let's see... Dipshit, Douchebag...' He continued, as loud as possible, trying to raise his voice above the teacher's, but soon enough he was cut off by a harsh slap to the face.

'You think you're funny Mr. Howell? I'm sending you to the principal's office right now!' 

Phil behind him handed him the box but not before the teacher caught sight of their small exchange.

'And you Mr. Lester, since you seem to find this very funny you can go too!'

And soon enough they were being walked to the principal's office, but not before Phil grabbed ahold of Dan's hand, winking slightly. 

Before they entered the office, Dan looked over to Phil and whispered him his next dare in the ear, making him blush quite a bit.

***

'Discipline!' The principal was speaking very loudly  
'Discipline is the mother of respect. And without respect, it's the end of civilization! The essence of the city drowns in your little... Stupiditys. And all of this because of who? Well you Mr. Howell. And you too dear Mr. Lester.'

'I ask myself what stupid little idea must have crossed your brain whe-' 

He stopped suddenly when he heard the distinct noise of water. But it was so much worse than that.  
There, in the middle of the principal's office, Phil was peeing freely, with an incredible amount of self-control. Dan on the other hand couldn't stop giggling, and discreetly handed him the box, in front of a very horrified and disgusted Mr. Principal.

"Separate them!!" He boomed. 

***

Seperate them? Pff, they'd never dare. And even though they were miles apart in the same building, Dan and Phil managed to know exactly when the other was going to be sent in the office again, for whatever reason, and again, the two friends reunited in front of a very red-faced, and angry principal. But at that moment they didn't care, their entire subconscious was just infatuated with the feel of the other's hand in theirs. 

20 minutes later of lesson on how to bring down an entire society in chaos and disorder, Dan's sister finally picked him up, looking frustrated as the principal kept on telling her how the education of this poor kid was a disaster. 

'Oh calm down!' Said his sister 'I'm not his mother, leave me alone! Our parents don't speak English, don't come complaining to me.' 

As the principal finally slammed the door with a look of horror painted on his face, Dan's sister turned furiously on him : 

'What the hell is wrong with you?! No desert, no television, no nothing until you finally learn to act like a responsible adult!!'

And at the other side of the room, Phil's father was giving him the exact same speech : 

'No sweets, no comic books, and no light in the corridor! Now go get your coat.'

His father dragged him along the wall, and as they passed Dan, their finger lightly touched, sending a warmth inside both person's bodies.

They were 8, nothing was ever going to happen. 

It was all just a game.

But then comes the time when you have to grow up, and not everything is a game anymore.


	3. House Of Dreams

When Phil came home that day, still feeling the light touch of Dan's hand, he didin't hear his father yelling at him not to wake up his mum. That's why he went upstairs to her cold bedroom, with beige painted walls and an unwelcoming bed. He never understood why they made her sleep in that room, why couldn't she stay with him, and not in that sad excuse of a sanctuary. He zoomed past his bedroom and jumped on her, while she was setting her glasses down on the bedside table. They fell on the bed and to his dismay he saw a flash of pain in her eyes, but she soon ignored it and smiled warmly at her son. 

"Wow you stayed in bed all day that is so cool!!"

"Phil I... A doctor came to see me this morn-" But he didn't want to hear it, he knew what was going to come, and it wasn't nice.

"I only made five mistakes on my test today!"

"Please Phil, listen t-" 

The room filled with panic, never in a million years did he want to hear those words coming from that mouth. He refused to. 

"And you know what, I got a B in French when I recited my poem! Do you want to hear it?" His voice was growing louder, he was terrified, this whole conversation shouldn't be happening. 

He got up and ran to the side of the bed, not even bothering to listen to his mother's answer, but before he could utter a word he collided with his father who was looking at him with a scolding face, the one only dads can do. 

"I also did a bad thing..." He murmured, remembering his not so nice visit to the principal's. 

With that, his father dragged him out of the room, and as he watched his mother, he noticed how sad her smile was. And he was so confused, what sort of horrid thing is a sad smile? It was like her whole body was arguing with her mind and forcing out a smile, but the mind still had something to say about it. Why did she put so much effort on smiling when she couldn't make her eyes smile anymore? 

He was thrown into his bedroom, with the door and his toys laying in front of him. He didn't want to think about that forced smile anymore, he wanted to think about a real one. And in that moment in his life the only smile he could see was Dan's. And every waking moment in that locked up chamber he only focused on his friend's smile, his cute dimples and very pretty eyes. Whatever happened, he knew he had Dan, he knew he had the game they invented just for themselves, it was their little secret. 

***

Later on that night, when his father wasn't so mad with him, his mother had come in with a book and had sat there on the edge of his bed, and stroked his hair. For some reason she'd chosen to read him Alice in Wonderland. 

"...We're all crazy here, I'm crazy and so are you!" 

"Mom." He interrupted her, for the third time today. 

"Mom are you going to die?" 

"I'm not well Philly..." 

"So are you going to die?" 

This time she swallowed and smiled that confusing smile of hers. 

"Yes. Everyone will." 

"Is it my fault?" Phil whispered in a scared voice. "Is it because I'm bad at school?" He handed her the tin box quickly and continued in a panicked voice : 

"Here! Give me something to do, something intelligent, I swear I'll do it!" 

"Shh Phil..." 

She suddenly enveloped him in a hug and tried to swallow back the tears forming in her eyes 

"Philly I love you so so much. That's the most important part, and you're not going to forget that okay?" 

Phil snuggled into her then said in a shaky voice : 

"Dan knows how to write with his teeth" He laughed and his mother started gently tickling him, causing him to giggle sweetly. 

Soon though, his mother started coughing into his shoulder, her eyes watery with the pain in her abdomen. She placed a gentle kiss on his forehead and stroked his hair, smiling that smile of hers. 

"You're not the first to play I dare you Phil. Good night my love." 

She started leaving the room, her coughing fit getting worse but not before Phil asked in a soft voice : 

"Mum, what is the madest thing you've ever done?" 

And without a second of hesitation she answered in a secretive tone : 

"Flying." 

And without another word she left the dark room, making sure to close the door as gently as possible, her red hair losing a bit of it's natural flair and her eyes seeming even sadder than usual.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the lack of Dan in this chapter, he'll be in the next oops :P Okaybye


	4. A Wedding And A Near-Kiss

It was only two weeks later that Phil's father finally un-grounded him, all though he was pretty sure his mother had something to do with it. He was lucky too because today happened to be Dan's sister's wedding. Now Dan had initially only invited him at the after-party but Phil ended up coming to the whole thing.  
And that's why him and the brown-eyed boy were now sitting, legs crossed under a table while the bride and the groom were slow-dancing to 'Thinking Out Loud'. 

"Her dress is ugly" Dan said with a cheeky smile and Phil laughed.

"Her husband is ugly!" Retorted Phil. They giggled and Phil continued on his streak : 

"If I ever get married I-" He was interrupted by Dan saying :

"I dare you to say no to the priest!" And because at that time, the game was still a game, Phil accepted with a careless laugh. Marriage was a foreign concept to him at that time, and so was growing up. 

"What will you be when you grow up?" Dan asked, as though he was reading his thoughts.

"I want to be a tyrant!" He said without a second of hesitation. 

"Wow a tyrant! With like a whole population at your feet? That's so cool!"

"Exactly. With slaves and a magnificent castle. What about you?" 

Dan looked away in mock embarassment.

"Well... no it's stupid."

"Come on tell me!"

"No you're going to laugh."

"I told you mine, I dare you to tell me yours!" At that though, Dan couldn't say no, it was a dare, that was how it worked. 

"I'd like to be a flan." He said, licking his lips. "an apricot flan. Just sitting there in a nice baker's shop, bothered by no one's troubles."

"A flan? Like... the dessert?"

"Well of course the dessert what do you think it was, there's not 60 000 sort of flans!" 

After a second of reflexion, Phil thought that yeah, being a flan must be a nice easy life, allthough being a tyrant seemed so much better. He couldn't stop himself from admiring how smart Dan was. He squated closer to him, looking straight into his eyes. They both leaned in but just as their lips were about to touch, even for a second, Dan leaned back and said : 

"It's so much easier just to be friends. I dare you to pull the tableclothe." Phil narrowed his eyes but grabbed the edge of the white cloth and pulled once, hard. The contents of the table, including lots of very expensive plates crashed down on the floor. The cake though stayed balanced on the very edge of the table.

"Your turn, harder!" Shouted Phil, over the muffled voices of the people shouting in disgrace.

Dan did as he was told and this time the cake toppled over and splattered with a big, disgusting noise. 

And as Phil crawled under the legs of the many people at that wedding, he left the box to Dan who giggled at him, because he knew that he would never ge blamed for this. 

***

Phil ran as fast as he could to his house and picked up his violin on the way, as he was supposed to be at a music lesson, when in reality he'd snuck out to see Dan. 

"I was looking for you everywhere." Said Phil's father as he saw him charging through the garden. For once though, there was no anger in his eyes, just a deep irritation and somewhere beneath that, a sadness that he couldn't quite qualify. 

"The violin teacher was ill an-"

"We'll see about that later, your mother is in the hospital we have to go"


	5. A Death And a Song

When Phil and his father arrived at the hospital, the blue-eyed boy rushed instantly to the bed of his very, very sick mother. She looked horrible, her eyes were sunk in her skin, barely open, and barely looking alive. Her chapped lips could barely utter his name and her red hair looked like it hadn't been brushed for weeks. Was this woman really his mother, Phil wondered as he tried to hold back the sobs in his throat. He didn't understand how this happened, he couldn't get his head round the fact that this person, laying on the bed, this weak, skinny woman was the person who'd read him Alice In Wonderland at night, the woman who made him toast with smiley faces on them every morning, the person to hug him whenever he got even midly scared and would always soothingly stroke his hair. 

"Phillly..."

"You're going to get better right?" He said, his voice breaking, and the tears escaping his eyes. 

"You have to get better, I dare you to get better mummy." 

"You don't have the box my love... it's not your turn" his mother was breathing heavily and it hurt him to know that every word she said pained her and weakened her. 

"I'll go get it!" He turned around abruptly but his father caught his arm and turned him to face his mothe again. In an instant he layed his head against her chest, feeling her feeble heart beat and dying figure. 

"Later I'll get the box, and then you have to show me how you can fly" She stretched her lips in a smile and for a fleeting moment he caught a glimpse of his mother in there, as she nodded, not strong enough to say anything else.  
Maybe he would get to see her fly after all.

***

The doctors were speaking in hushed tones with Phil's father in the corridor as the boy drew picture after picture, sitting there on his mother's bed. He refused to leave, not until the very last moment, and the nurses had looked at him with a withering sadness and pity in their eyes. They knew nothing of what was happening though, they didn't understand, they never would. 

He saw a figure standing in the doorway and as he turned his head, he saw Dan standing there, holding the box tightly under his arm. Phil smiled a tiny smile and put his pencil down, walking up to his friend. 

"What are you doing here?" He asked harshly.

"Phil I-" but the other boy cut him off, no giving a chance to the person in front of him. 

"Leave us Dan, you don't understand" 

"Right, I'm only useful when it comes to the game" Dan replied bitterly, he didn't understand why his friend was treating him like this, like someone who didn't deserve a place in their personal life, no matter how badly he wanted to be a part of it. 

"Fine" Dan said in a sad tone, and handed him the tin box. "I dare you to walk on one leg for the next hour." 

And at that moment Phil hadn't realized why Dan had given him such an easy one, he just took the box and didn't see Dan walking way, throwing the flowers he had bought for his friend in the bin before he left the hospital. 

Phil just jumped back into the room, not saying so much of a goodbye to his best friend.

"If I jump across two tiles, mum will get better" He whispered to himself and leaped on his one leg, across two of the black and white tiles on the floor. He pumped his fist silently in the air in victory. 

"If I jump across three, she comes home for my birthday." He forced himself to put as much pressure on his leg as possible and took the fateful leap, jumping above three tiles, and Phil grinned at himself. He knew she was going to get better. 

"I jump four and she comes back tonight, all cured!" He whisper-screamed at himself. This time, his leg flinched when he jumped and he slipped, falling over on the cold floor.  
And that was when the monitor next to his mother's bed started making a low, continuous beep noise. He hated that noise, oh how he hated it, each time he'd heard it in a movie he knew what was coming afterwards. But this wasn't a movie, and he refused to believe what was coming afterwards.  
He rushed to the side of the bed and shouted at the motionless figure laying there, frozen as if in a photograph : 

"Mum. Mum!!"

The doctors pushed passed him and his father pulled him in a desperate embrace, holding him tightly and burrying his head against him, protecting him from seeing the last look on his mother's face.  
That was the last time his father ever hugged him. 

***

The earie silence outside the town church was weighing down on Phil's shoulders as he stood there, all dressed in black next to a grave he wished never existed.  
He looked up to his father and nearly started sobbing again when he was the pur look of desperation and emptiness inside his dull eyes. Nobody spoke, they just stood there, watching memories of what should've been, memories of a future that never existed. He wished for something, anything, anyone to make a sound, to say something meaningful, just so he could focus on something else and not on the engravement of his mother's tombstone. 

Maybe he wished too hard because the next thing he knew, he saw a figure on one of the big, stone tomb. There was Dan, a floral ring around his neck and chest, a sad smile playing on his lips and very colourful clothes.  
But Dan didn't just stand there looking pretty, he started humming loudly the tune to 'Thinking Out Loud'.  
And Phil had never been happier to have such a pretty friend.

Dan had always been Phil's best friend but in that moment, he showed it, he knew what he had to do, and he didn't hesitate for one second to climb on that stone block.  
And even though they were both still only kids, both knew that this was just the begining and nothing would separate them, no matter how hard they tried.  
Except maybe the one thing that brought them together in the first place. 

***

That evening, as Phil played alone in the garden, his father picked up the phone and dialed a number he never thought he would. The person at the end of the line answered almost instantly.

"Hello... Is this Dan's mother? Right, sister... I was just wondering if... Could Dan come to stay at our house tonight?"

And without a second of hesitation, Dan's sister said yes, almost sure that the poor father couldn't cope with the loss of his wife right now, and take care of his very energetic son at the same time.

***

"Are you sleeping?" Phil asked Dan, who was lying with his face down, buried deep in his pillow. 

"Officially yes." Dan said in a muffled voice before turning around to face him. 

"Rumors say that you're pretending to." Phil teased the brown-eyed boy.

"Hm yeah but the rumors are only rumors, as they always are right? I'm going to try to sleep a bit Phil."

"Hey tomorrow, could I sleep over at your house?" 

"No." Dan's reply was instantaneous. "Never, you'll never come to my house, promise me."

"Why?" 

"Promise me!" 

"Fiiiine." Phil groaned in a frustrated voice, and rolled on his back again but not before searching for his friends' hand under the blanket and grabbing it, entertwining their small fingers.  
At that moment though, they didn't know that years later they'd wake up at exactly the same spot, in the same bed, with the small difference that they didn't hold hands anymore. After all, they were only kids.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are going to get exciting in the next updaaaate :D


	6. An Exam And Jealousy

-10 years later-

'Beep beep, beep beep' The alarm clock at the edge of the shared bed buzzed for the third time this morning. 

"Fuck... oh fuck I'm going to be late!" Dan groaned in a panicked voice while getting up, quickly pulling his jeans over his legs, trying not to trip over. A half asleep Phil, head buried deep in his pillow asked in a muffled voice :

"What time is it..." 

"Time for my exam" Dan answered while searching through his papers, trying desperately to find his notebook.

"What exam?" Phil asked as he turned over, watching his best friend intently.

"Math" Dan mumbled, finally finding his pen and notebook.

"You're going to fail" Phil said in a monotonous voice, deliberately winding up his friend.  
Dan didn't wait a second and without hesitation threw his pillow at the half-asleep mass on the bed, in frustration. But Phil wasn't letting it go, with a grin he sat up quickly, throwing back the flowered pillow and hitting Dan straight on the head. They went back and forth like this for twenty minutes, squealing any time one of them hit too hard, and soon one of the pillows, that had already a hole in started shedding feathers all over the floor.

"Phil, what's going on up there?" Shouted his father, but his voice was muffled by the shouts of his son and best friend. 

"Phil, I'm coming up!" But the two friends didn't hear him and incidentally just kept hitting each other, sending the feathers flying in the whole room.  
They only stopped in panic when Phil's father, with an irritated expression knocked three times on the door. And then it was all a rush of sweeping the feathers under the bed, placing everything back as it was, and when his father opened the door he found his son with the hands in the hair of his best friend, trying his best to get the fluff out of it. He narrowed his eyes in suspicion but closed the door nonetheless, leaving the two friends breathing heavily and giggling.  
Dan, realizing if he didn't finish getting ready quick he would miss the exam, got up in a rush and started packing his bag. But Phil had other plans.

"I dare you" He said with a grin while swinging Dan's boxers around his finger.

"Philly please not this morning" He whined in desperation, a small smile playing on his lips nonetheless

"Yes this morning." Phil may look like a sweet innocent 19-year old when it came to his appearance but Dan knew just how annoying and daring he could be. 

***

And it was because that side of Phil's personality shined through when he was with Dan that the brown-eyes man was now waiting patiently on the chair, wearing his boxers above his jeans, earning him a lot of disgusted, amused, and confused looks.

"Dan Howell" one of the examinator called him to pass his exam and as he got up and walked though the corridor to the room of death, Phil couldn't help but laugh at how ridiculous he looked. But his friend didn't pay attention, he just held his head high as the three judges looked him up and down, without saying a word.

The rules of the game hadn't changed, but what they could have been called teasing when they were 8 years old, could now become very dangerous. 

As Phil was waiting for his friend to fail the test he was passing, he noticed a girl sitting on one of the plastic chairs, looking down on her textbook. She had long flowing hair the color of sand and green piercing eyes. Phil walked up to her and sat on the chair next to her, grining. 

"I'm Phil" He said in a flirty tone but the girl without looking up said coldly :

"Fuck off, I'm busy." He didn't let her get the best of him and chuckled quietly, getting even closer to her.

Dan, on the other hand couldn't help but look through the glass door of the room, where he was now writing an equation of some sort on the board, still wearing his stupid outfit. He felt a pang of something, something not nice when he saw his best friend obviously flirting with the girl with perfect hair and a silver bracelet that must've cost her father a bucket load of money. He tried his best to concentrate on his test but failed miserably as he saw Phil's face uncomfortably close to the girl's. He swallowed the tears threatening to spill over, and looked back at the board but by then the numbers and letters were blurry. 

"Mr. Howell. Please concentrate." He was taken out of his dreamy state when he heard the calm, collected voice behind him of one of the judges. 

Phil was now helping the girl he'd met 5 minutes ago solve her math exercise will swinging an arm around her shoulder, as if it was going to help her. The girl sighed but couldn't help a smile escape her lips as she looked up at him. 

"You seem good at maths, tell me if I'm wrong" After the intial cold harshness of the girl, she was now completely comfortable and was running her hand on Phil's leg. 

On the other side of the door, Dan couldn't take it anymore, having such a clear view of Phil and his new found toy to play with. Usually he wouldn't mind, then again usually he wasn't dressed with boxers on top of his jeans at a test that he was clearly failing. Dan continued writing carelessly numbers at random but he couldn't get the image of that girl's hand somewhere it definetaly shouldn't have been in the waiting room of an exam. He swallowed and without another secong of hesitation, dropped the chalk on the floor, and stormed out of the room, not even glancing at his friend.

"I have to go that's my sister" Phil said when he saw Dan looking furious rushing past every pupil in the hall. He quickly kissed the girl whom he didn't even know the name of and ran after Dan who was trying hard to put a cold facade up. 

"Dan, come on I'm sorry"

"You know what, genius, I'm going to fail this test because of you. And while I was in there, suffering, your hands were in places I don't even want to know about"

"Oh come on, it was funny!"

"Yeah, real funny thanks Phil. I spent twenty minutes in that stuffy room writing random numbers on that board. After all, you had better things to do right?" Dan took out the tin box of his bag and handed it harshly to Phil. 

"I don't even know that girl, it was just to pass the time!" He exclaimed as Dan nearly ran down the stairs of the building. 

"Well, her name is Amelia, and there's two things you need to know about her, she slept with her gym teacher last year and her bracelet looks completely ridiculous, like everyone she owns. There, now you know, have fun."

"Are you jealous Dan?" Phil asked with a grin on his face and Dan turned around suddenly with a cold look in his eyes. 

"Me? You can sleep with any bitch you want, see if I care"

"Wow, you're really jealous." 

"Leave it, Phil, I'm not jealous" Dan said in an exasperated tone, tired of this bickering that would get them nowhere. "Of course if you want my blessing for Amelia, I give it to you. Bring me back her bracelet when you've finished with her, I dare you."

***

Phil walked in the backroom of the shop where his best friend worked and found him stacking up boxes of some sort of canned food. 

"So?" Dan asked with a smile.

"Meh, I don't like blonds" Phil replied, his gaze following Dan and leaning over the wall. He handed him the silver bracelet he'd managed to get from her after they left the bathroom. Dan grinned at him in shock.

"You did it, you really are a bastard." 

"No, a tyrant" Phil replied with a grin. 

Dan looked at the bracelet for a second then threw it out the small window of the backroom.

"There, now your dear Amelia really has nothing to show for herself."

"Well she still has her gym teacher, the one with a brain the size of a pea?" 

"I actually slept with him once" Dan laughed, as Phil went a bit rigid, but tried not to show it. It was no surprise really, that teacher slept with probably every student in the university, even guys. And Phil already knew Dan was bi, something he'd admitted to him when they were 14, tears brimming as he said the words. 

It was no surprise Phil had hugged him close to his chest and hadn't let go for at least 20 minutes, because at that moment, he was more than happy to hear the news. Maybe it was selfish, but knowing that Dan might one day actually like him gave him hope above anything else. 

But what was suprising was that after knowing each other for nearly 11 years, none of them had said anything to the other, maybe they were scared the other would think it was a game, like everything seemed to be in their lives. 

But they had no idea things were about to get way more dangerous that just a game.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have this piece of trash yo, wow this is longer than usual, please leave a message in the ze comments below thank you.  
> (Drama is coming oops)


	7. A Kick And A Kiss

The next day, Phil as a revenge for something Dan didn't do, dared him to slap his gym teacher, a colossal man with muscles that could punch through a door effortlessly. Dan didn't care anyways because even if the man had the power to rip a hole through his body, he was way too idiotic and naive to do it.  
That brings the two friends staring at the man who was now helping one of his students throw a javelin to the other side of the field. Dan walked up to the man, feeling quite sorry for him and grabbed his arm, turning him to face him and slapped him, hard across the face, quickly rushing away after he did so, not wanting to see the aftermath. He nodded at Phil to do the same and as the teacher was running towards him he stopped him and said in a rushed voice 

"Igor calm down, you know the stupid dares friends always tease each other with? Yeah well..." And in an end to the sentence, he slapped the poor confused man too, and the two friends speed-walked back inside the university cafeteria. 

For the next two weeks, the two friends went round and around with the box, always daring the other to slap poor Igor whenever they saw him, trying not to get beaten up afterwards. Needless to say at the end the poor teacher was a mess, shaking in the school cafeteria, alert to every noise and every person passing in front of him, terrified it would be those two demons again.

"Shall we move on? Look at him, we completely broke him" Phil thought for a second and just as he was about to let it go, he thought of one last thing.

"Kick him in the nuts" Dan looked at him in shock, completely thrown of track. The whole 'I slept with him' thing must've hit him pretty hard, and next thing he knew, Dan was walking to the shaking teacher, already regretting this, knowing this time he may not get out of this uninjured.

***

"Say you're sorry" Dan said as he was holding his broken arm in his right one, walking down the opposite pavement that Phil was on. 

"Come on, it was funny." Phil said, throwing the tin box in the air and catching it again. He felt guilty seeing his friend in pain but he would never admit it.

"Say you're sorry!" Dan pressed on, more loudly this time. 

"You shouldn't have gone if you couldn't do it." At that comment Dan turned and met his friend halfway, in the middle of the road. 

"I wouldn't be in this state if I didn't dare do it. Now apologize to me you moron" Dan's anger was already melting as he stared into the grining face of his best friend, or his very, very beautiful best friend. 

"Nope, not in a million years." A car suddenly arrived on the road and stopped abruptly in front of them but they didn't stop their bickering. Instead, Dan tried to grab the box in Phil's hand, and as they collided, both their hands circling the box, Dan realized just how close their faces were. Dan stopped moving, practically feeling Phil's breath on him, making him shiver. 

"I dare you to kiss me." Said Dan in a hushed voice, ignoring the honking of the impatient car behind them. 

Phil grinned and quickly pecked Dan's lips, not even leaving him flustered, just a bit tipsy. But that wasn't good enough, Dan grabbed the box and climbed on the car, making the driver come out and yell in disgrace. 

"I said, kiss me" He said with a low, raspy voice and without hesitation Phil joined his best friend on the top of the car, circling his waist with his arm. And just like that, after years of waiting and jealousy and mixed signals, their lips connected, sending shivers down both of their spines. It was like nothing they had ever felt before, it was exciting yet oddly terrifying, and as Dan relished in Phil's presence, his arm around him and his lips on his, he let go of the box, letting it roll of the car and deep into the streets. 

It wasn't long before the car's driver yelled at them so loud they were pulled out of their state and Phil grabbed Dan's hand, both running on the cold stones steps of a darker street. There, and without anymore doubt or second thought, Dan pushed Phil against the wall and connected their lips again. He ran his fingers through the other man's hair and grazed his tongue against his bottom lip, earning a low but present groan. 

"Love me." Said Dan in a hushed voice, not quite comprehending the words leaving his mouth. 

"It's my turn to give a dare" Phil replied in a haze but before he could reconnect their lips, Dan took a step back in surprise, and he was shocked by the hurt look in his eyes. 

"Is this a game to you then?" Dan said bitterly, but keeping an arm around the other's neck, a slither of hope in his tone. 

"No a dare, a dare that you gave me." Phil replied in a whisper, not knowing what he'd done wrong. 

"You're going to miss your bus" Dan murmured, picking his bag, trying not to let the tears in his eyes spill and leaving behind a very confused and upset Phil. 

As he walked away, the tears damped Dan's cheeks and he picked up the tin box lying on the ground, abandoned. 

Back to the game it was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stuff is happening, cool cool.


	8. A Choice And A Broken Promise

Phil knew he'd fucked up, he'd lost anything he ever truly cared about when he watched his best friends walking away, gripping the box until his knuckles went white, chin up but trembling slightly as he walked. For some reason though, he knew there was no point in following, he knew how stubborn and hurt Dan was, he needed some space. 

Phil walked slowly, heart wrenching as he still felt the feeling of his best friend's lips on his own, probably the best thing he'd ever experienced, including cake. The rain who had started falling when they were kissing in the street was now pouring down, drenching his coat and hair, messing his fringe up. 

As he contemplated just staying there watching the puddles shake with the vibration of the water, he saw with surprise a familiar car he hadn't seen in about a month roll down the road, and watched as his father parked himself right in front of him, gesturing for his son to get in, an angry expression on his face. It was the only expression he ever seemed to have these days. He got in, sighing and not even saying hello to his father, just looking ahead as the tired looking man gripped the wheel.

“It's over Phil, I'm done with all your stupid games.” Phil gulped, he might be a grown man but he was still scared shitless of the man who was supposed to be his protector. 

“You have exams in two months, don't miss them or I swear I won't miss you” The last comment made Phil turn towards his father, half expecting him to take his threat back but his father just looked ahead, his eyes cold and hard. 

“Come on dad it's not such a big deal. Keep calm.”

“Calm?!” his father practically yelled, making his son jump. “You little bastard, you think I’m not calm enough as it is? Do I have to remind you your stupid childish games killed the woman I loved?!” 

Phil sharply in-took a breath, tears forming in his eyes at the hard and careless comment of his father, trying to blink away the furious tears. 

“That's disgusting” He said, his voice shaking. “Mum didn't die because of me!”

“Yeah it's disgusting, we agree. I had to bring you up on my own you ungrateful little shit!” 

Phil suddenly punched the car, shaking and not being able to look at his father without puking. This was the man who had loved him more than anything and now look at their relationship. Gone, like that, in the wind like his mother, gone with just a whisper of hurt lingering in the back, reminding him of what had been and what had died. 

“I didn't k-kill her you piece of shit!” The moment the insult left his mouth he knew he had made the situation ten times worse.

“Piece of shit? I'm a piece of shit who's capable of beating the fuck out of his own son! But no, I’m not capable of admitting that this Dan Howell you call your best friend poisoned his son to the point that you don't even talk to me any more. Except when your little friend made a dare about me. You don't know how that feels, you have no idea.” 

For a second, Phil just stared at this man, this stranger who was staring back with a pair of eyes he had never seen before, with no control over his words and a fury going above anything he had ever seen.  
His father grabbed the tin box and turned it in his hands, looking at it bitterly.

“Choose. It's him, or it's me. I dare you” And with those harsh words thrown at him like a dagger, he threw the box out the window, avoiding his son's shocked eyes.

Phil choked back a whimper, he wanted to scream at him not to do this, not to force him to make his choice. This unfair, terrible choice. But he couldn't, his throat was stuck, he just looked at him, him not looking back, maybe because he was ashamed, maybe because he couldn't stand his face any more. And after a minute of just looking into a dead man's eyes, Phil opened the car door, not addressing one more look to the man who had ruined a part of his life who probably had been ruined a long time ago without even noticing it. Now there was only Dan, Phil thought to himself as he picked up the old box. He had always known that this would've happened, or maybe it did that fateful day in the hospital. Maybe that was the day he had already made his choice. Either way it was always going to be the same one. 

He would always choose the brown-eyed boy.

**

The voices and echoes of children's laughs spun around in his head as he ran up the stairs in Dan's apartment building. He felt the world spinning, and the cold of the tin box in his hands was making his fingers go numb, but he kept on, remembering a vague memory of his friend making him promise never to come to his house. But he needed him, he needed to see him, hold him, just that and nothing else. He needed to be with his best friend.  
He knocked on the door with force, nearly crumbling against the wooden frame, not able to hold his own weight, his own mistakes, his own broken promise. He banged louder and soon enough heard footsteps marching lazily to the front door.  
Phil breathed in relief but he was cut short when a woman, Dan's sister opened the door.

“Hey Phil, you came to see Dan? He's not here.” 

Phil barely registered the woman's words, he just looked at her, stunned and utterly shell-shocked. Her hair was dishevelled, her eyes were swollen and red, she smelt like she hadn't had a shower in more than a month and her voice was completely out of it as was her expression. It all made sense now, the promise, the whole thing, the harsh tone Dan had used to make him promise that he would never ever come here.

Dan's sister was a druggie. 

Before he could say anything, the door was closed in his face, but not before he heard a sharp intake of breath coming from behind him.

“What the hell are you doing here.” Dan asked, his tone cold, but a deep hurt feeling seeping through. “I told you never to come here. Are you happy now? I hope you bought some peanuts to enjoy the show ever more.” Dan glared at Phil, anger and hurt clouding his eyes, not even trying to hide how mad he was. 

Phil tried to grab his best friend's arm but he quickly turned away and started walking down the flight of stairs.

“You promised me. It was a fucking dare!”

“I don't give a damn about the dare listen to me!” Phil cut Dan's path and stood in front of him, his friend looking down on him, unimpressed and feeling betrayed. 

“Well I don't not give a damn!” Dan shouted at Phil's face, trying his best not to let the deep hurt he felt seep through. 

“I-I'm sorry I didn't know...”

“You're sorry. Right, it changes everything” Dan said bitterly. 

“Come on listen let's... Let's run away. You and me.” Phil answered, wanting to scream, yell, in frustration at just how much he was losing in the space of one day. 

“Run away for what Phil? I don't need your pity Phil, fuck off on your own.” 

Phil was shaking, as he grabbed the other's cold hand, who winced but didn't move back, and put the box in them.

“Dan please forgive me...”

“Get away from me” Dan said in a calm, menacing voice.

“I dare you.”

“Get. Away. From. Me” Dan whispered, nearly choking on the words. Phil looked up at him for an instance that felt like it was seconds then let go of Dan's already cold hand and moved back, turning slowly and set down the stairs, trembling in fear and hurt. 

When he got downstairs, he had no idea that only a few meters away from me, at the top of the stairs Dan was crunched up in a ball, face in his hands, sobbing uncontrollably and cursing at the pretty box that had started this whole fucking thing and was likely going to destroy it. He had no idea if this was a game any more or if the game had only ever been an excuse to hate but love the other person at the same time. Maybe it was both. 

**

Forgive Phil. It was the hardest dare he had ever given Dan. But Dan had never liked easy dares, that's why it took him such a long time. Maybe a bit too long. In those three months, the arguments between Phil and his father had finally gotten some reason into the boy, and he had moved back in with his father. 

Dan knocked at the wooden door of the pretty house with the pretty garden and almost instantly Phil's father opened. 

“Hello Mr. Howell, is Dan here?” But Phil's father just closed the door at his face leaving him completely shocked. Dan opened the door and stepped in the old creaking house. 

“Please Mr. Howell, I just want to speak to Phil! Phil can you hear me!” He shouted at the seemingly empty house. The man suddenly reappeared and a shoved a 50 dollar bill in Dan's hand. As soon as he opened his hand, Dan knew what this was. Bribery. He threw the money back at the the repulsive man in front of him and tried to hit him, knowing this was probably a mistake when the man grabbed a hold of his arm, throwing him outside, leaving a burn mark on his skin and closing the door violently. 

He was going to have to find another way to do this. 

**

“No no, don't say anything it's my turn to speak.” Dan took a deep breath and set the box on the table in front of him, sitting down. “Did you miss me? Because you know I missed you... You're a real tyrant you know, it's so hard to ignore you. But... I'm still pissed off at you. I'd like to talk, just us, forgetting the game, just this once. Do you like my shirt? I hesitated you know, there was another one, red, yeah um I realize now that should've been the one I picked. I spent just about... 3 hours in front of my mirror, but yeah I did it, I'm pretty, for you. And you better like it or I swear I'll punch you. No um please don't speak. The problem is... even if you said you loved it, I wouldn't believe you. Phil I don't know when you're playing the game and when you're not. I'm lost... Wait I haven't finished. T-Tell me you love me. Just tell me you love me because I wouldn't dare say it first, I'd be scared that you'd think it was a game. Save me... Please.” 

The man in front of him gently put his hands on his, looking completely gob-smacked. It wasn't a surprise, he'd picked this guy at random at the local library where he knew Phil would be studying just a few meters away, but unable to see the discussion going on. Dan had needed to practice, he was terrified of how Phil would react to what he had to say, now maybe it sounded stupid but he thought practising on someone who wasn't Phil might help. Dan gave a small smile to the confused guy in front of him and got up, trying not to shake as he took the box from the table.  
Dan walked to the table where Phil was studying, leaning over his papers, writing something he didn't understand.  
He put the box on the table and at the noise Phil looked up, then looked back down again, not even trying to engage in a conversation.

“H-hey.” Said Dan, mentally slapping himself for stuttering. “Phi-”

“Did you come to study?” The boy cut him off, still not looking up again. “Can we not do this now please?”  
Dan looked at him in surprise, gritting his teeth together not to yell at him. 

“When can we then? Tomorrow?”

“In a year.” Phil said, finally looking up to meet Dan's gaze steadily. “I'm sorry.”

“Save the apologies. Urbanism...” Dan said as he picked up an old-looking book from Phil's table. “So you like this stuff huh? You're talking to a specialist here, remember I live in an apartment building?” Phil took the book and slammed it back on the table, making his friend wince.

“We never talked about the future, you and I. I mean my future and your future” Phil said bitterly.

“Mine and yours... See spontaneously I would've said our future. I guess the present should satisfy me.” Phil looked back down, rubbing his temples. “I guess I... saw us keeping this thing up for years. What an idiot” Dan laughed dryly. “Fine. I dare you to pass your exams.” Dan said with a sad smile, sliding the box to Phil's side. 

“I'm sorry Dan.” 

“Shut up Phil. By the way, we did talk about the future, just once. We didn't get it too wrong actually. I became a flan and you became a tyrant.” 

With that Dan turned and walked away, leaving the box with Phil, who after a second of hesitation got up and ran after him, leaving the box there. He caught up with him in the hall of the library and grabbed his arm. 

“Dan please I-”

“It's too late Phil.”

“Stop being a fucking idiot.” Phil said angrily and cornered his friend, feeling his breath on his skin, reminding him of the kiss they shared at the top of a car in the middle of 6th avenue. 

“No go on, go study, no problem!” Dan exclaimed sarcastically. “You know I have a lot of exams to study, I'm studying men.” 

“So you took sociology huh?” 

“I didn't say human beings, I said men.” Dan sneered and suddenly grabbed Phil's waist, running a hand on his crotch. “Males, guys, and I have a LOT of studying to do.” 

“Well, you're in a library, perfect place to study. I dare you” Phil said, trying not to let his breath hitch. 

“Yeah you're right.” Dan stated blandly and started taking off Phil's belt roughly, looking straight into his eyes as he did so. 

“We're making a mistake here...” Phil said in a deep voice.

“Why? I thought it was just a dare.” Dan answered innocently and let go of him, pushing him back, not even caring to look back as he walked away, leaving the guy angry and bothered. “See ya in a year.” Dan called over his shoulder, and with that Phil ran after him, one more time, and caught up with him at the entry of the library, the wind messing up his perfect hair. 

“Yes?” Dan said, crossing his arms behind his back. 

“I... you know exactly what I want to say.”

“No, I don't” Dan said, feigning ignorance. “Say it.”

“It's not... easy.” Phil said as he gulped and looked around. 

“Can't it wait a year?” Dan said with a sweet smile. Phil shook his head in dismay and searched in his pocket and finally found what he was looking for. He gave the condom to his best friend and smiled innocently.

“Here, be safe in your studying.”

“You're trying to hurt me.” Dan said in a bored voice. “Don't be ridiculous Phil you wouldn't dare.” 

Dan walked away until the bus stop, watching as the bus arrived slowly.

“Will you wait for me?” Phil whispered loud enough for him to hear.

“Is it a dare?” 

Phil shook his head, not letting the tears slip from his eyes.

“You'll see then.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOHO I'M BACK BITCHES AND THIS CHAPTER IS... wtf nearly 3000 words *cough* you'd beter appreciate it y'all.


	9. A Question And A Broken Heart

4 years later

Dan sighed as he heard the echo of his manager's boss yelling at him to be a better employee, a better cleaner, a better everything. He tried his best thought, and although the tips of the people he served weren't the best in the world, he was good at his job. He cleaned the empty glass a customer had just left on the bar and then turned, seeing a figure waiting for a drink. He didn't look up, just kept rubbing at whatever stain there was on that glass. 

“What would you like?” 

He stopped in his track when he saw the familiar face and eyes looking at him with a smile and Dan tried his best not to hug Phil right then and there. It had been four years, long and uneventful, boring years without his best friend and seeing him there almost made him forgot why he didn't see him for four years in the first place. Almost.

“Do you have a nice suit?” 

“I don't even have a suit” Dan bit his lower lip to repress the smile making it's way up his face, but couldn't stop the dimples from appearing. 

“Then I'll give you one. I have something very important I need to ask you” Phil said mysteriously with a glimmer of mischievousness in his eyes, leaning against the bar, watching Dan get back to work. 

“What would you like?” Dan asked after a sad sigh. 

“Um a coffee...” Phil decided. 

Dan walked over hurriedly to the machine and Phil followed like a lost puppy, circling the bar. 

“Can we talk please?” 

“Nope. Sorry but you know, there's things that never worked between us. Stupid stuff, but stuff nonetheless. Like your shoes for example.”

“My shoes?” Phil exclaimed with a wide smile on his face, looking down at them, making sure there were no stains on them. 

“Yeah they're completely horrid! I can't go out with someone looking like that. Also your trousers looks ridiculous” Dan grumbled, a giggle escaping his lips and turned back to the coffee machine. “I can't even listen to you when you're wearing those. Here, take your coffee and leave me alone.”

Dan handed his friend his coffee, still trying not to laugh and went back to the other side of the bar, taking some customer's orders.

“Come on, I'm not going to take them off!”

“Huh. Well you choose, I thought you wanted to talk. By the way on Mondays I finish at 7 pm, come back later. Oh wait... Actually I've got a singing lesson afterwards.” Dan said, picking up some dirty dishes from a table.

“Really? You sing?” Phil asked surprised, following Dan around. 

“Yeah well I did have a life for a year, not just this shitty job.”

Phil grinned, trying not to laugh as Dan came back to the bar. 

“No, I'm just interested in learning that you're singing. Do you want to become a singer?” 

Dan laughed dryly : 

“See, that's very you isn't it, money before anything else. I'm taking singing lessons so I want to be a singer right? Of fuck see I said I wasn't talking to you I’m talking shit. You're distracting with your... shoes and trousers and your fricking face...” 

Dan let his voice die down as he grumbled, rubbing with ferocity the plates, looking down. There was no sound for a while and Dan got worried his friend left but when he looked up, he saw he definitely hadn't left and he couldn't help but laugh loudly as he saw Phil had taken off his trousers and shoes. He covered his mouth, looking at his ridiculous friend. 

“So, can I invite you to the restaurant now.” 

Dan laughed but then stopped himself, and said bluntly : 

“No.”

Dan walked away, through the doors, his jumper swung over his shoulder but turned when Phil asked him : 

“Where are you going?” 

“I've finished work you idiotic spork.”

“You said you finished at 7 on Mondays!”

“It's Tuesday.” Dan said, a small smile playing on his lips, and turned around, leaving his friend trouser-less and shoeless in the middle of the bar.

“Daaan!” Phil whined as he walked after him, still half naked. 

Dan giggled as he saw him standing there and took pity of him, walking back to his friend. 

**

“So do you have somebody?” Phil asked, not with a lot of tact as the two men, dressed very stylishly, walked on the wooden floor outside a fancy restaurant.

“What?” Dan said, feigning ignorance.

“Do you have someone in your life?”

“Someone in my bed you mean?” Dan smiled as he said the words. “Why are you asking me that?” He asked, staring into Phil's amazingly blue eyes mesmerized again by how beautiful he was. 

“For nothing” Phil said, ignoring the question, as the two friends walked back into the restaurant, and sat down, waiting for their food. 

“So... Are you in love?” Phil asked, playing with his napkin, elbows on the table. “You don't have to answer obviously, just a question.”

“I have no one in my bed if that's what you want to know.” Dan stated, smiling at his beautiful friend. “Well... there is this one guy. He's a footballer, and his name is Sergei. But well, I dumped him this morning.”

“How could you sleep with a guy called Sergei?” Phil laughed, and Dan giggled quietly. 

“Hm... fancy restaurant, champagne, if it weren't you I'd say you were flirting with me.”

“Would it seem so unthinkable?” Dan lost his smile and looked down at his plate, then behind Phil's shoulder. 

“See that guy over there? He's wearing the same shirt I wore the last time we saw each other” Dan smiled sadly and Phil looked behind him at the small, short-haired, green-eyed man. “It was what... 4 years ago?” Phil nodded, turning back to look at the way prettier guy in front of him. 

“Doesn't suit him at all by the way, did I look so stupid when I wore it?” 

“Don't talk about people like that, you don't even know him.” Phil said, leaning back against his chair. 

“You don't know hiù either, why would you care?” Phil rolled his eyes at him and Dan continued. “So? Why all of this then? Did you pass your exams, is that it?”

Phil shook his head and chuckled, raising his glass and Dan followed suit. 

“To us, to the present and... to what I'm about to ask you.” Phil said, watching Dan, who was slightly frowning in confusion.

“I've wanted to talk to you about it for years.”

“Talk about what?” Dan said, raising his glass to his lips and taking a sip. 

“About me.” Phil said after a moment's hesitation, Dan raising his eyebrows questioningly. 

“You? Hm but you never talked about anything else.” Dan teased. 

“Well then about... my heart.” Phil said, and grabbed Dan's hand resting on the table, intertwining their fingers as both their hearts started beating faster. 

“Dan I'm in love.” Phil said in a slightly shaking voice, staring intently in the other's eyes.

“You're in love.” Dan repeated, cheeks heating up, trying to even start to comprehend what was happening here. “Just like that.”

“No, not 'just like that' Dan. I have been for years, years of silence, and I- I want to get married.” 

At that, Dan just laughed, he straight up laughed, covering his mouth with his hand, trying not to cry in happiness, and looking back up at the man in front of him, who had just asked him an impossible question. He raised the glass to his lips again, and Phil looked at him intently. 

“Is that a yes?”

“What are you asking me here Phil? If I dare? Do you remember when we were kid at my sister's wedding, I asked you to say no if you ever got married. You said you would.”

“Today what do you say?” Phil said, in a whisper. 

“You... you really want to get married?”

“I need you for that.” 

Dan chuckled slightly. 

“That's for sure, you don't get married on your own...” 

Phil looked for something in his pocket, never leaving Dan's eyes, who was now biting his lower lip. He got out a single, back box, the kind you get to put a ring in. This was real, this was actually happening, and Dan realized that when Phil placed the box in his hands, grazing his fingers on his.  
Dan tried not to jump in joy, he tried not to laugh or cry, or even smile, but this was real, this was him, his best friends, placing a box with a ring in the hands of a man who had loved him for so long it had hurt more than anything ever had. 

“Listen um... it's...”

“Is that a yes?” Phil whispered, being heard only by him. 

And Dan just looked down at his hands with the black box in them and nodded, slightly at first but in the end ended up covering his mouth with his hand, letting a few tears escape his eyes as he nodded and the man in front of him exclaimed :

“He said yes!” And the whole restaurant clapped, just like they do in the movies. 

“You're going to look so beautiful as best man Dan.” Phil leaned into Dan who flinched backwards, watching Phil, completely shocked, who was now not smiling, just drinkin in Dan's hurt expression “Now let me present you my Fiancée, he's called Mark, and guess what, he's wearing the same shirt you were wearing four years ago. Yeah, it's a funny story, I gave it to him. Remember? It's that day that you said I couldn't dare hurt you.”

He leaned back and watched as Dan's heart broke right in front of his eyes, you could pinpoint the exact moment when his entire soul was crushed into nothingness, like it was just a toy, and someone had been playing with it for far too long. There was no break for Dan, no moment when he could just let everything out because the next thing he knew, Mark himself was walking towards them, a big grin plastered on his face. Dan got up, breathing raggedly and shook his hand.

“Mark, this is Dan, Dan this is Mark. My future, and my past.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> woAH two updates, you lucky ducks. Also um sorry Dan oops I love you tho.


	10. A Wedding And A Train

“Get up, my children.” The priest said in a very official voice, gesturing for everyone in the church including the two men getting married to get up again. 

“You are now going to exchange consent” He said with a delighted smile as footsteps of a very late guest could be heard echoing on the walls.

“Mark my child, Mark Lewis Bockard, do you take Philip Michael Lester as your lawfully wedded husband, do you promise to love and cherish him, until death do you part?” Mark smiled sweetly at the man who was already looking at him fondly and said in a timid but loud voice :

“Yes, I do.” 

The priest turned to him as Dan, dressed in the most extravagant clothes he could find sat down, putting the box down next to his left foot.

“And you, my boy, Phillip Michael Lester, do you take Mark Lewis Bockard as your lawfully wedded husband, do you promise to love and cherish him, until death do you part?” Phil was just about to say the three words that would seal his destiny, and close his fate forever when he felt something cold hit his leg. He looked down and saw it, the tin box, the prettiest tin he had ever seen. He looked up and that's when he saw him, Dan, smiling sweetly at him, and mouthing the words 'say no'. Say no. That was the hardest dare anyone had ever given him, because yes maybe he did love his best friend, but the man next to him was as close as he was ever going to get to happiness in this stupid world, and he really loved him. And now he had to say no. 

“Phil, wake up.” The priest said sweetly, completely oblivious to what was going on. “Your love his waiting.” Phil looked back at the pretty man next to him, his perfect hair, perfect eyes and perfect personality, then back behind him at the flawed human being, proud of tearing his life down, a beautiful face with a crooked smile and a twisted personality. 

“Yes. Yes I do.” He blurted the words out, and heard a distinctive sigh next to him leaving the perfect man he was marrying. 

“Good, then children, if anyone has a reason to be opposed to th-”

Instantly, a voice rang loudly in the church hall, as Dan got up quickly :

“I do! I am against this marriage. Phil is engaged to another man, we are united” Dan couldn't get any further because just then, Phil's father got up furiously raging, and grabbed the poison who was still devouring his son :

“When the fuck are you going to leave us alone! Dan make her leave, now!” Dan flinched and gulped, completely terrified as the man shook his arm violently. 

“Phil, tell them, I dare you!!” Phil got a hold of Dan's wrist violently, ignoring his best friend's cry of pain, and pushed him away.

“Get out!” Phil exclaimed, but Dan didn't care, he stubbornly twisted his arm, trying his best to get away from him, trying to end this stupid wedding with everything that he had. Phil's father tried to get to Dan again but was held down by some other people.

“Stop dad!” Phil shouted at him.

“Yes, you're right, I'm stopping everything! Look at me Phil, look at me for real, this is the last time you're ever going to see me again. It's over, everything, the game, the humiliation, from now on, you're no longer my son.” He ended up yelling at his son, and shook off the arms holding him back, turning away, leaving Phil in a church with a man he wanted to marry and a man he wanted to kill. He just couldn't figure out which was which any more. 

***

“Phil?” Dan shouted “Phil do you hear me? Come on it was just a joke, a kid's dare.” Dan tried his best to squeeze his eyes, trying to see through the blindfold Phil had put around his eyes harshly but saw nothing. He could feel the cold metal of the train rails under his bare feet and sighed, wishing for this to be over. 

“Phil, come on what even is a wedding in the end, champagne, nice suits, it's not a big deal!” 

Phil looked up from his sitting position at the beautiful, twisted man in front of him, but didn't say anything, too scared that he would accidentally agree. 

“Phil, you love each other, that's the only thing that matters right? Listen I'll be a real best man next time, I promise.”

Phil tried to hold in his shaky breaths as he saw a train getting closer and closer to where Dan was standing. He wanted to get up, he wanted to save him but for some reason, he just watched mesmerized as Dan finally realized something was definitely wrong.

“What's that noise Phil?” Dan whispered and Phil had to fight of the urge to run there and throw him off the rails. “Phil can I move?!” Dan's words were getting panic stricken, and just as he was about to get killed, ending the game and everything with it, he ran out of the trains' way, losing his blindfold in the way and felt the train woosh by his face. That was way too close. 

Dan nearly lost his breath, knowing just how close he had just come to death and just stared at the floor for a moment, shocked and very very vulnerable. He looked back up to Phil who was staring at him, an unreadable expression on his face.

“Go to hell Dan.” Phil said, his voice and hands shaking, his whole body soul and mind trembling of hate towards the man standing there, and towards himself, who nearly just killed him.

Dan didn't hesitate, he just looked at Phil in disgust, hardly believing that he was about to let his best friend get killed over some stupid wedding, over a stupid man, a stupid father, a stupid box. 

“Fine, but you're coming with me. We don't see each other for ten years, I dare you” The words dropped like a stone in a water, slowly but then all at once, and stayed there, anchored down by the weight of their meaning and Dan took the pretty box, turned away not wanting to see that face that he loved so much be happy about not seeing him, and walked away, along the lines of the rails, not looking back, not once for ten years. 

And then it was the worst thing ever, nothing, nothing for ten years. Nothing for 3652 days and 3653 nights. The game was over, the essence of Phil's existence, what made it exciting and new and interesting. Phil started walking aimlessly in his life, asking the same questions over and over again, who am I, what have I done, what do I still have to do? He didn't know the difference between love and hate any more, Dan had assassinated him, slaughtered him, and left him to bathe in this own blood reflecting what he had done. And then Phil started thinking about it another way, letting himself slip away into the bland circle of his existence. Love, family, work, the house, a whole other life he had despised as a child, while he was dreaming of being a tyrant, and not believing that this was the way it was going to be, for ten years until something, anything happened, waiting for the slap that would wake him up from his dreaming state, waiting for a knock on the door that would maybe come but maybe not, a phone call anything. But there was nothing and for ten years Phil never gave up once, he thought maybe Dan would come back on his dare, but no, that wasn't like Dan at all, and so with hope growing and fading everyday he waited for that day, ten years later when their paths would collide again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WAZZUP BITCHES triple update whaaaat anyways please tell me what you thought of it :33333 Can you believe this is nearly over? wow...


	11. 10 Years And A Package

-10 years later-

 

"Phil, don't forget the bins!" 

Mark shouted from somewhere in the house, while his husband walked past the house and smiled slighty, grabbing the handle on the bins, throwing his jacket over his shoulder. 

"Phil, garbage!" Mark repeated, in somewhat an annoyed tone and Phil realized he forgot to put the bin bag in the bin before he rolled the actual bin to the front of the house. He let out a groan of irritation and grabbed the trash bag, throwing it in and pulling it behind him, along the stone path leading to the front of the house. 

"Phil, gimme a kiss" His husband whined and automatically, Phil rolled his eyes, letting go of the bin and speed-walking to his husband who had his hands on his hips. As he pecked quickly his husband's lips and turned to walk away he felt his legs pulled down and chuckled when he saw his two beautiful children holding onto his legs for dear life. He looked at his daughter and her messy ponytail and his son and his curly hair sticking up everywhere and thought about how perfect all this was. A perfect life, a perfect job, a perfect husband, perfect kids, the whole package. It made him sick.   
The kids soon got tired and let go but ran after him as he went to open the door of his car. 

"Hey daddy, when is the present for?"

"Shhh" Phil said, laughing and picking up his daughter who threw him a curious look. "You can't say anything." He started whispering, allthough pretty sure his husband could hear him. "It's for our ten year anniversary remember? Can you keep a secret?" 

Automatically his daughter shook her head, and Phil laughed. 

"Not even a little one? Come on, a spy secret" At that, his daughter smiled and nodded shyly. "Here, go hide this it's for dad." Phil said, handing them a wrapped up present with a bow on the top. He quickly got in the car, smiling, almost automatically as he saw his children run back to their father and telling him to hide his eyes while they were doing a 'spy thing'

At the age of about 35, Phil had everything. A husband, two kids, three friends, money, five weeks of holydays, six years in the same job, and ten years in this life he was afraid of. It was happiness, manufactured, ready-made happiness, the kind people say you need to fight for but you really don't, the kind that comes all in one, a package of daily routine and empty words. A package that came with abandoning your dream of being a tyrant. Everyday Phil saw old couples walking around holding hands, looking at each other lovingly and he wondered if they had fought for that love, the way he nearly did for Dan.   
So this was it, being an adult, driving a car that could go up to 210 km/h but always only driving at 60. Life was like that for Phil, he could've gone fast, he still could but he was stuck on the roads with a truck full of empty memories in front of him slowing him down.   
Everyday he would do the same road to work, he would drive in front of his father's house and would take out his phone, dialing the number and pressing call, waiting for an old man's voice to be heard at the other end of the line, but never answering, afraid that he would regret it.   
Over 1000 calls to his father, 90 lies to his boss saying he was stuck in traffic, 123 nightmares about how he was suddenly a tyrant, maybe they were dreams, he couldn't tell the difference anymore.   
Life had changed, death had too, 429 hours just hanging around the graveyard next to his mother's tomb, replacing flowers after flowers after flowers, each bunch representing less than the older one, hoping that HE would come back to sing him 'Thinking out loud'. Maybe he didn't need Dan anymore.   
Phil had a perfect, quiet life, it had been 10 years, on this exact day that he'd had no news from Dan. The dare ended today with the precision and the pressure of a countdown. And nothing, no news, not a sign of him. Evidently, he had forgotten him, but Phil hadn't, how could he when he saw Dan's husband everyday. This husband had become the hero of the nation, idolized by men, wanted by their wives, he was nicknamed sexy Sergei, and had been elected best shooter of the year in football. Phil had never hated football so much in his entire life.

***

"So?" Sergei's manager insisted for the third time with a frustrated sigh.

"so... Listen I don't know about this I mean..." The footballer, sat on his couch facing the TV tried to judge the advert for his next interview without being too harsh. "It's... is that the final version?" He asked, letting his doubt seep in his voice. "Do you like it?" He asked the well dressed, annoyed woman standing next to him, as she nodded, obviously only agreeing to get this over with.   
Dan ran down the steps and sat, cross-legged behind his husband, massaging his shoulders and watched the TV with disgust. He kissed Sergei's neck as the man in front ofh im tried to form a correct opinion. 

"It's y- you know, not all that" Sergei stuttered over his words and Dan lifted his head in exasperation. 

"It's shit." his husband quickly nodded, and looked over at the furious face of his manager. 

"Dan, this is a work meeting, I've had a horrible time negotiating this contract, so I think shit is kinda too much. Do you know who made this advert?"

"Stephan Daniel" Dan said, proud of himself "but even if it had been directed by fucking Steven Spielberg it would still be shit."

"It's not a game Dan" The manager said in an angry whisper, trying not to raise her voice and the childish behaviour of this man. "Sergei" 

The man was snapped out of his state as he stuttered again : 

"I- um... I mean I'm allowed to say no right?

"Right?" Pressed Dan, kissing the man's temple roughly. 

The manager looked at them in frustration but nodded harshly, admitting defeat to Sergei but mostly to Dan. 

The woman dressed all in black picked up her papers as she saw Dan sitting on his husband's lap and kissing his neck yet again, unable to make him think correctly, not that he could in any way. 

***

There was no doubt in Phil's mind, the man he had loved, and probably still would if he was given the chance, had forgotten all about him.   
Phil sat looking at the television in disgust, as the football was on, while being circled with bits of whool by his daughter while his son was hitting him on the head with a pillow. 

"Hey daddy see I'm capable of hitting you on the head!" The words were too much, the never ending stream of good news of Dan's husband wining even more money was getting to his head and he suddenly grabbed his son's two shoulders, stopping him and looked in his blue eyes

"Are you capable of making a woman cry on her wedding day huh? Are you capable of laughing when you're broken, of shutting yourself off for 10 years?! Are you?!" Phil said, anger filling his voice, the anger of 10 years of silence, 10 years of emptyness, 10 years of boring, dull, existing seeping through as he shook his poor son's shoulders loosely, not caring when he ran away, tears welling in his shiny blue eyes. 

"...can you imagine, I mean I only do that to please her you know?" Mark grumbled as he came in the living room and sat next to his husband. "Hey are you listening to me?" Mark chuckled as he shook gently Phil who was just staring, expressionless at his screen. He heard the distant voice of Mark saying something then next thing he knew he was alone with a package on his lap. He looked at it and groaned, not even a glimmer of hope that it was anything from Dan as he saw the label from work. He sighed in anger and frustration and tore the cardboard box open, his eyes not really looking at what it was, when he saw it.

There it was, in a package he never thought he'd recieve, after those ten years he saw it. The tin box, laying there on it's side, invinting him in, the hope of the begining of something that never truly ended, something that was just dead for an instant, or dormant, but now the beast was awake and he was just waiting to bite, to taste blood again. The shiny box, the one they had played with for so many years, the one Phil's mother was holding when she'd told him he could fly, the one that had started to make his dreams come true, and had destroyed every nightmare, the box that had been there for him, a symbol of the man Phil still loved, he knew it as soon as he saw the box again. Oh as soon as he saw that shiny tin box that had started everything, he knew he had never fallen out of love with the man who had completely killed his existence and started his life again, the man who had sang him a song of love when all he felt was hatred and sadness, the man with whom he'd shared his life with, and was willing to again, but this time there was no going back. This time he had to make that choice again, Dan or the life that had drained him of every ounce of his life. 

He'd made the choice a long time ago, and he knew that day that he would always, always choose the brown eye'd boy and the red painted box.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EZUYOEUV i'm exhausted and i haven't checked my mistakes sorry if some parts don't make any sense i really wanted you guys to have an update kay? Kay bye tell me whatcha think is gonna happen :DDDD


	12. A Phonecall And A Crash

“Phil I’m begging you, stay!” 

Mark insisted, crossing his arms, standing in front of the door. But Phil had had enough, he couldn't stay here any longer, away from the one thing that made him feel alive. He didn't notice the deep hurt look on his husband's face as he just pushed past him, grabbing his coat on the way and walking out, not looking back, not regretting anything, not for one second.  
He didn't hesitate once as he got in his car in the middle of the night, he didn't think about the consequences as he drove on the familiar road he'd taken so many times, but always turning around just before arriving at the mansion.  
Today, he didn't stop, he parked his car, and gripped the wheel, trying to stop his hands from shaking in anticipation and excitement.  
He got out, leaving the car door open and jogged to the house, not wasting a second, because all he wanted was to see that face he'd dreamed of so, so many times in those 10 years of terrible, horrid silence.  
He knocked on the already open door and squinted his eyes to adjust to the darkness, slowing his footsteps as he made his way into the dark room.

“Dan...?” He called softly, and shivered when his words echoed in the big, dusty looking room. 

He gulped and walked through piles of debris of some sorts, recognizing the shapes you could find in a kitchen. But all around him, while the moon slowly filtered through the windows, everything looked shattered. Broken plates, glasses and other pans lay like corpses on the floor, clothes were hanging from unexpected places, the whole room looked like it'd been the subject of a very angry argument, or just a very angry Dan.  
And there, standing at the edge of the room, back turned to him, in the middle of a pool of moonlight and floating dust was Dan, his elbows on the kitchen bar, staring out the window. 

“Dan.” Phil said, trying his best not to let his voice shake, completely terrified the man in front of him would lose control again. “Are you ok-”

“Hello, police?” Dan said, turning around suddenly, making Phil flinch at the sight in front of him. The man was a mess, his finger in front of his lips was shaking, his hair was unstraightened and the moonlight was piercing through his torn clothes. God he had never looked so beautiful. “H-hello, my name is Mr Howell” The man said, smiling but adding the effect of a tremble in his voice. “ Please come quick, the killer is back! Help he trying t-” And just like that he hung up.  
Phil just stood there, grinning, tears streaming down his face, his entire being completely drugged by the other man's words. He was alive again. 

“You know I timed the police once” Dan said, biting his lip and winking seductively at Phil. “They only take one minute...” 

Phil in-took a sharp breath, in a haze at what he'd just said, what he'd just done, and god did he love it. Dan just watched him watching him and burst out laughing, choking back years of solitude and misunderstanding. Phil couldn't help it, he exploded in laughter, not caring about the one minute he had left, just losing it, finally giving himself over to that sweet, sweet game again, forgetting everything and everyone and just laughing, completely pouring himself out and abandoning himself to the sound of Dan's beautiful, beautiful laugh.

“10 years is long” 

Dan finally breathed out while pushing back his messy fringe and looking longingly at his old friend. Phil nodded and gulped about to answer but suddenly the seconds ticking by on the clock on the wall suddenly became louder and as the handle ticked to midnight, he grinned at the flashing lights and blaring alarms and just like that, looking one more time and Dan's beautiful, smiling face he ran out.

The game had started again, this time better than anything he had ever experienced as he laughed at himself while driving his car out, hearing the other police alarms tailing him. It was happiness at it's purest, it was better than everything. Better than drugs, cocaine, heroine and other substances. Better than sex, better than chocolate and hazelnuts, better than milkshakes, better than Mark, better than his children's laughter. Better than netflix on a rainy day with hot chocolate and marshmallows, better than tea, better than Doctor who, better than Benedict Cumberbatch's cheekbones, better than singing at the top of your voice outside, better than eating, drinking, vodka, jagger, beer, better than being drunk. 

Better than freedom.

Better than life. 

It was ironical that just after that thought, Phil's car took a sharp turn, crashing violently into a lorry, and after a second of thinking everything was going to be ok, the whole ordeal exploded into flames, sending the car and Phil flying, burning down, and the only thing that remained was a shiny tin box, slowly burning, slowly consumed by a fire killing all hope and happiness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, kind of a short chapter oops! I hope you guys like it, IT'S NOT THE END DON'T WORRY but it very nearly is. Tell me what you think is going to happen hehehehe. Bye bitches.


	13. A Revenge And Three Words

“Hello? This is St Andrew's hospital, we'd like to speak to Mr Howell. Your friend has had an accident.”

**

“Listen if you can't understand leave me the hell alone.” Dan snapped the words, not paying attention to the venom in his tone, hurriedly marching through the hospital hall in large steps.  
“I told you, he's my oldest friend, we've known each other since elementary school”.

“Your oldest friend? You never introduced us!” Sergei said, trying to keep up with his husband's panicked walk.

“You never introduced me to your whole football team, though you see them everyday.” Dan replied bitterly, not really paying attention, focusing more on finding the location the woman on the phone had given him. 

“Wait what? You see HIM everyday?!” Sergei exclaimed, getting on Dan's nerves even more than he usually did. “Dan who is this guy?!” The man said, frustration seeping in his voice and grabbed Dan's arm, forcing him to face his own husband. “If he is what I think he is, I’ll kill him.”

“The problem is, he doesn't need you for that.” Dan nearly shouted, shaking brutally his arm out of Sergei's grasp and storming off, a sense of profound dread making his stomach turn. God he hated hospitals. 

This time Sergei just walked after him, not bothering to follow as the nurse led Dan in the right room. The brown eyed man followed obediently the woman, who opened a white door with the number 10 painted on in large black paint. Dan didn't watch as he walked in, just kept his head hung low, watching the floor, but hearing the deep breathing of the other man in the room. He closed his eyes, willing himself to gather all the courage he could before slowly, and hesitantly, his heart throbbing with terror, lifting his eyes up to the figure on the bed. But nothing could have ever prepared him for the sight in front of him.  
There, plugged into at least 4 machines, drowned in he stench of blood and medicine, layed his best friend, unmoving. Dan's breath got knocked out of him and he stumbled back in horror. It was a mess, Phil's once pretty face couldn't even be seen under the layers of burnt, black flesh. Nothing was hidden, the hair had burnt and his skull was a dark shade of red, contrasting with the blood soaked pillow. Dan looked away instantly, not bearing this horror, this transformation. Phil wasn't even recognizable and the burning marks went down to his neck and probably under where the hospital robe started. And there, on top of the bleeping machine was a metal box, partially black and melted.  
Dan tried to catch his breath, and with a shaking agonizingly slow movement, he grabbed the box, his head spinning, making sure not to glance back once at the stranger on the bed. He felt cold hands on his shoulder as the nurse steadied him when he nearly fell over, sobbing, not looking where he was going. 

To be completely honest, Phil was really, completely mad at Dan that one time. He'd promised himself that as soon as he got back on his feet he'd make him pay for what had happened. But you know, with time you forgive the people who hurt you the most. You even end up laughing about it. After all it's only a game.  
And goodness did he laugh when he saw a shaking, sobbing, messy Dan come out of some random hospital bedroom, clutching desperately a tin box close to his heart. This was his revenge. He laughed quietly as he saw Sergei run towards him, Dan pushing him of with a violence he wouldn't of thought he was capable of. Phil had come out of the accident barely touched, apart from his blood soaked shirt and a deep cut on his forehead, which was maybe the reason he was feeling completely delirious right now. He watched Dan from afar, letting him drown in his sorrow, relishing in the feeling but a voice suddenly interrupted him.

“Dan where were you, I was looking for you everywhere.” Of course it was Mark, rolling his eyes in an exasperated huff.

“I was looking for the toilets” Phil said, still giggling.

Mark grabbed his shoulder and pulled him towards the door harshly, not acknowledging the fact that his husband could've died. 

“Are you okay?” Mark asked, more as an automatism than because he actually wanted to know. Phil didn't answer, just shot one last grin at the shaking Dan who hadn't noticed him and then walked past the door with his husband. 

**

“An evening at the hospital, is that what you were preparing for our ten year anniversary?” Mark said bitterly as the doctor stitched the cut up. But Phil only started laughing harder, watching the ceiling. 

“Am I hurting you?” The doctor muttered, not sounding as if he actually cared.

“No.” Replied Phil, in between fits of laughter. “Don't worry, it's nothing compared to what it could've been” His laughter grew louder as he thought of the other man, the one half burnt to death in the hospital room, the one Dan thought he was. 

On Dan's side nothing felt like laughing, he was sobbing uncontrollably as his husband looked at him from time to time, keeping his attention on the road he was driving on. 

“Listen darling I’m sorry for what I said earlier...” Sergei said, actually meaning it. “I don't really know what came over me. But it's okay now right? I’m here you know” This caused Dan to face the other way, looking out the window as the rain poured down, the tears falling on his jeans one by one, never stopping. “You know the robbery and the mess in the kitchen, I really don't care. It's you I’m sorry for to be honest. Shitty day I guess...” 

Phil couldn't stop the fits of laughter escaping his mouth, making his whole body shake, trying to communicate to Dan, who was probably now miles away, that he was actually completely fine. 

“Don't worry about it, things like that happen, it's probably just a side effect of the shock he endured.” The doctor said to Mark who was trying to hide his smile from his husband's communicative laugh. 

“What the hell have I done...” Phil suddenly whispered, maybe finally realizing the extent of the damage he'd done. “Dan...” 

“Phil...” Dan whispered, a sudden feeling of unexplainable relief washing over him. It wasn't a shock that the teachers or anyone in that matter could separate the two men, they always knew when the other was in trouble. And they always knew when something had happened to them, or in this case, not happened. 

“Dan please forgive me.” Phil said out loud in the hospital room, making his husband flinch, the memory of the wedding resurfacing. 

“Phil...!” Dan said in the car that was now nearly at home, his voice shaking and breaking at the end, his head spinning at the uncontrollable amount of happiness that had rushed into him after the horrible terror and sadness. Suddenly he laughed, sniffing in between fits of laughter and whipped the tears of his cheeks in a panic. 

“What a fucking idiot!” Dan said, not able to hold in the grin and the laughter that followed. And he had really been stupid to ignore the feeling that the man laying on that bed, his skin burnt to the flesh, wasn't his Phil. “Take me back to the hospital” Dan said, his words rushing out, colliding in one long word, causing his husband to look back at him, completely shocked. “Take me back to the hospital!!” Dan shouted at Sergei, not able to wait, not feeling anything except the relief and happiness Phil had so often bought into his life. Without a word, and quite a bit scared, Sergei turned the car around and took the road back to the hospital. 

10 minutes away Phil had ran out of the room, ignoring the desperate pleas of his husband and was now rushing outside, greeted by the harsh and violent rain. Driven by Dan's harsh words and screams, Sergei had driven three times as fast and Phil found a smile reach his face when he saw the car arriving, not even stopping before Dan had jumped out, the tin box under one arm.  
Dan just marched towards Phil, gripping the box tightly in both his hands, while drenching his shirt and hair under the pouring rain. Three meters away from each other, Dan stopped, and just watched him standing there, the most beautiful person he had ever seen, while he distantly heard Sergei and Mark's desperate calls. The only noise he heard was the small comforting sound of the rain falling down on the tin box.  
Two more steps and both of the men were now at less than a meter away from each other. As they opened their mouths to speak, both of them knowing what to say, he only saw the pair of blue eyes staring straight at him, a smile making the corners crinkle. At the same time, without a moment's hesitation they said the three words that had both made them live.

“I dare you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phew that was zavdazvdoazv long to write anywaysss STILL NOT THE END but next chapter is so prepare to say goodbye to them............ Tell me what you think is gonna happen :D


	14. A Box And A Lover

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Are you ready? 
> 
> Then let's go, last chapter.

The scene outside the hospital looked just like a war about to start, on one side Mark and Sergei, both looking on in desperation and frustration, and on the other side, Dan and Phil, just looking at each other, determined not to be separated ever again. And for a second the battle field was silent, it was like everyone was waiting for something to happen, for someone to shoot first.   
And the first shot was fired when Sergei suddenly jogged over to the two men, giving a warning glare towards Phil and suddenly pulling Dan back by the arm harshly separating the two. Dan didn't try to get out of his husband's grasp, just watched Phil, watching him back. His arm went limp in the footballer's grasp as he smiled softly at the beautiful angel who was getting further and further away from him.

“Phil look at me!!” Mark shouted from the doors, desperately trying to get his husband's attention. “The children are waiting for us...” He finished, his voice breaking at the end. But Phil's attention was just on Dan's perfect eyes. 

“When your legs don't work like they used to before...” Phil suddenly hummed, staring deep in Dan's eyes who gulped. “And I can't sweep you off of your feet” Dan let out a few tears, and tore his arm out of Sergei's hand who let it go, blind anger in his eyes. Everything went slow as Phil's voice rang in Dan's ears, a flood of memories rushing back to him. Nothing could separate them, Phil was putting them both in a trance as Dan walked back up to his “best friend”.

“Will your mouth still remember the taste of my love...” 

The memory of the kiss on top of that yellow car in the middle of the street came rushing back to Dan, reminding him he'd never actually forgotten about it.

“Will your eyes still smile from your cheeks” 

Phil couldn't get the image of a laughing Dan out of his head as he dragged him along into a dark alley to continue what they had started. 

“And darling I will be loving you 'til we're 70” 

Phil murmured the line just as Dan stopped right in front of him. He lifted his arm, softly tracing Dan's jawline with his right thumb, as an excuse to the fact that he had kind of forgotten the rest of the lyrics. Right then the only thing that could've stopped Phil from finally finding Dan's lips on his own was a punch in the face. 

And that is exactly what he got as Sergei ran towards him and collided his fist brutally with his jaw, sending him flying backwards, knocking him unconscious.

“A-are you crazy?!” Dan yelled at his husband, but quickly rushed to Phil's lifeless body, deciding Sergei really didn't deserve any more attention. Dan's breath caught as he saw the man lying on the ground has his eyes closed, the impact killing him slowly. Dan just slapped him continuously across the face, sobbed, held his face in his hand, shook his shoulders, screamed his name repetitively, cried uncontrollably in his already drenched shirt.

He couldn't die now, they'd just found each other again. 

But Phil was in fact feeling the sweet surrender of death as he plunged through the curtains of his last minutes of life. It was like he was drowning, he couldn't hear a thing except from some distant sobbing and his name, screamed with an overwhelming sense of panic. He just sunk lower until it felt like he'd reached the bottom of the ocean. His body then crashed through thousands of windows, repeating decisive moments of his life. 

“Phil come on wake up!” 

He crashed through the messy kitchen where he'd seen Dan for the first time in ten years.

“Don't leave me all alone...”

He crashed through a dusty old rail road with a blindfolded Dan, dressed in extravagant clothing.

“I'm begging you just come back...”

He crashed through the halls of the library where he'd seen Dan in that pretty shirt.

“Phil don't you dare, wake up now!!”

He crashed through millions of snippets of moments when he'd seen Dan, laughing, smiling, not sobbing.

“Phil please...” 

The distant sob made him crash through the last memory, of him handing the box to a pretty boy called Dan who was crying, and hurt above anything he had ever felt and as the early lights of morning started to shine on the parking lot, the rain stopping progressively, the only thing that could've caught a stranger's eye would've been the body laying on the ground, a shirt drenched in blood and a very much alive Dan, his head on Phil's chest, pleading to every god to make his heart start beating again.  
Dan slowly lifted his head, shaking it as he took in Phil's even whiter face than usual. He picked up the old, burnt box off the ground slowly, studying it for a second, the horror settling in. 

“No, no this is too easy Phil... You don't fucking deserve it!” Dan said, his voice breaking and lifting the box up in the air for Phil to come and get it. “Come on then! Come and get it! Don't leave me, I dare you.” His breathing was getting more and more erratic, his words were colliding with each other in a blubbering mess. “I dare you!! Phil can you hear me? I know you can hear me! Come b-back, I dared you! Phil!!” 

He yelled the the last words, his voice filled with anger and daring the other man to cheat death once again and as his voice broke and his throat tightened, Phil suddenly coughed up violently the water in his lungs, daring death to try and take him again. Even death couldn't separate them. 

**

“We'll never leave each other again” Dan said in a murmur, looking back to the man only centimetres away from his face, who shook his head in agreement. 

“Never, I swear.” 

And Dan just buried his head in Phil's shoulder as they stood in each other's arms in a deep hole, scaffold on the 4 grey walls ready to be filled with cement.

They had cheated death so many times, today it was time to let it get what it wanted. Both were terrified of dying, of suffocating, but it was better than the alternative, being together in a world that wanted them to be separated. As they heard the vehicles that transported the cement to fill the hole, Dan took a deep breath, leaning his forehead against his lover's. He was so scared but the terror was dimmed considerably by the comforting arms of Phil's. 

To win this game you only need a pretty box and a pretty friend, the rest is up to fate, and as they stood there they realized just how far they'd come just to end up in this hole, for once not cheating death.

Dan held tightly onto Phil's tiny waist while the other buried his head into the crook of his neck as they heard the liquid cement flowing down and soon they felt it on their feet. 

“Y-you know there's a lot of things that you didn't ask me to do that I really regret!” Phil said, tears running down his cheeks as Dan smiled softly. “Like loving you. I could've... I could've done it!!” Phil said, panic and desperation seeping through, betraying his words. 

Dan bit his lip with a smile then collided his lips with Phil's as he let out all his fear of dying, the cement now reaching both of their stomachs. The two men just kissed passionately, a feeling of love but also urgency in the kiss. They didn't break away, not even for air, knowing than in a second their would be no air left. 

And as the cement reached their necks, all they could think of was this was everything that they had ever wanted. That's how the two men won the game, by letting death take them willingly in the end, after years of running away from love. They won together, happy, and they didn't need a whole lifetime to know that that would never change. 

And there, at the bottom of the concrete block, they finally shared their childhood dream : the dream of a never ending, immortalized love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> goodness gracious me (that was so english, sorry, i'll stop now) IT'S OVER, THE END. did you like it? Please tell me your thoughts on the end, and if you thought it held well together well with the rest of the story, cuz idk, I really hope you enjoyed the story!!!!! Phew.

**Author's Note:**

> Love y'all hope you liked it, hopefully I'll upload soon!


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